Myrna Giesbrecht

Two years ago - after my first Design Outside The Lines retreat - I dropped my friend Caroline at the airport in Portland and picked up Howard. We drove down the I5, across to the ocean, and then back up the Oregon coast together. Now, I am visiting places alone that I first saw with him. This is unusual, a bit strange but strange in a good way.

Both of us loved Astoria. The hotel we stayed in was to the left of the picture above. The city is on a hill with the downtown along the river and the houses up from there. It's arranged numerically in one direction and alphabetically in the other which makes it easy to get around.

I spent my day in Astoira visiting all the shops except for one on the list that my hostess had given me. When I checked the list, that one was down seven blocks and over three and I decided it wasn't necessary. My walking tour was exhaustive and interesting and I bought a few things - including an end table for my living room - and then, when I was all shopped out, I bought one of those personal sized Hagan Daaz ice-cream cartons and enjoyed it while sitting on the stone wall along the walkway near the river. The last time I was here...

... the moss covered posts from the old canning sheds were empty. This time, they were covered with flocks of sea gulls who seemed to be having a competition with...

... the sea lions for who could make the most noise. The sea lions were all over the docks making it dangerous and impossible for boats to park there right now although I was able to walk along the warf and get some pictures. Apparently, they - the lions - know to stay down there - or so I hope. None came charging after me. Howard and I were here in June. It seems seagulls and sea lions like to be here in September. Good thing. Our hotel room was on the water side and would have been very noisy.

I had lunch at the Urban Cafe - a caramelized peach salad with onions, feta cheese, bacon, and chicken. YUMMY. This trip, I've enjoyed so much interesting food that I'm going to look for some on-line cooking classes when I get home. Both Howard and I were raised on meat plus starch plus vegetable and it seems to me time to break out of that predominate mold. I do know how to cook other things but I think that with a bit more information I could create far more tasty interesting dishes with the ingredients I have. I hope so. My tastebuds have been spoiled.

This morning, I slept until I woke up and as soon as I finish publishing this posting, I'll take a shower, pack up the car, and be on my way home. I plan to stop and journal at the bookstore in Bellingham and take a quick peek at the bargain center of the Fabricland in Chilliwack but other than that, it'll basically be straight home.

I'm not sure what I'll arrive to since Howard is having an MRI today. While we don't wish for something horrible, we do wish for something that "they" want to explore further in order to move this journey forward for both of us. It's exhausting and seemingly never ending. Good thing that I'm going home with some ideas from all I've seen and done and talked about that I can work on in the studio. I want to keep the energy of this trip alive as long as possible - partly through daily exercises. I share more about those later this week.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - great food

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.

- Oprah Winfrey

It took an hour and a half to cross the border and once across, it poured for the next hour and a half - the kind of pouring where the windshield wipers are on full and yet you still wonder if there might be a higher setting since they don't seem to be doing anything. I arrived home just before nine in the evening and opted to continue sleeping in and moving slow for the rest of the weekend and to get back in routine today - except - when the alarm went, I turned it off and the next thing I knew it was an hour later and there went the schedule. LOL - maybe tomorrow

Today's post is about what I painted on my September vacation. Travelling without my sewing machines and focusing on painting via the surface design class was a great decision. I made progress. We started the class with a selection of fabrics and access to Diane's paints and painting supplies. She gave us a variety of assignments for learning how to make marks on fabric such as use one stencil and one color and create six different variations. There was enough of a guideline to get you going and nothing so constraining that you couldn't create your own unique marks. Nicely stretching.

IMHO - my most successful piece was on organza. I like the variations of color and the energy of the piece although, in retrospect, I'm not sure about that yellow dot. It was placed there to give the piece a focal point and yet all the lines pointing inward were creating one in the open space that was left. That's the great thing about pictures. You can analyze the results and think about what you'd do differently next time. LOVED painting on organza and seeing how it reacted to different colors underneath. The purple of this file folder was especially effective.

"One" of the fabrics I took with me was cut up pieces of knit t-shirts - one white and two black. They were 100% cotton and a thick, quality knit. If they hadn't been un-flatteringly tight, I'd wear them however, the plan is to cut up the pieces and combine them into one far more flattering t-shirt and wear them that way. Above, the assignment was to use the stencil and vary the spacing to vary the resulting look.

There were three of us in the class which made for wonderful interaction between the students and Diane. Claire was vacationing in Ashland and didn't realize this class was on until she came to the drop-in on Wednesday where we promptly talked her into coming and I'm so glad she did. Talk about a natural affinity for painting and SUCH enthusiasm.

Marta is lucky to live in Ashland. She retired from a career in the sciences and I enjoyed hearing the scientific information behind different things. It reminded me of spending time with my friend Barb who is also a retired scientist. Marta used natural dyes on the tank top she's wearing under her apron and was working on another tank top in class. VBG - she's more advanced than me and was both encouraging and inspiring.

On the second day of class, Diane's son Miles gave a painting demo. His way of working is more free form and spontaneous. Watching him makes it look SO EASY... and then... you try it... and you realize that spontaneous takes practice. As always. Years ago, I had an instructor who point blank refused to sit down at the machine and demonstrate how she satin stitched around the pieces of her work which was her right but I wish she had been willing because there's something very valuable in observing how different artists work - how they hold their brush, their needle, feed fabric through the machine, and interact with the developing piece. We learn from their sharing.

This piece was a result of pouring paint and folding the fabric over it and then pushing and pulling the excess paint with different tools. It and the one below are both Miles' pieces. I particularly...

... loved this one which started with squirting green paint from a bottle and then manipulating it. The piece is paper sized. That's valuable. It's a great practice size.

After watching Miles work, I decided to try approaching my pieces in a more free form responding way. These are the canvas remnants from cutting out my coat that I brought along just to see what could happen. The shapes are irregular but not completely useless should one prove more amazing than the others. Right now, they are practice pieces. Sometimes, I started with a mark and other times I started with a stencil and began building up the layers. Some are a little beyond the stopping point but as Diane asked, what happened to you. This approach is less thinking and more responsive and I think that's a better way of working for me.

SO... I've been to Starbucks to journal, went grocery shopping with my youngest son, finished up the laundry, and published this post. I have two goals for the rest of today. The first is to clean up the painting and dyeing supplies in the laundry room and sort through what I have in which cupboard and determine what I no longer need and what I need more of. The second is to set up a system of painting in my studio so that I can add a daily exercise of painting on small pieces of fabric.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - growing confidence with paint

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow.

- The Buddha

Driving fourteen hours provides lots of space, freedom from responsibility, and time to think. I love meandering along the route, stopping where I want to stop, and doing what I want to do. It can easily take much longer than mapquest says especially if there is a fabric or book store in route, a yummy restaurant, or a friend to meet with. I know not everyone loves to drive like I do but if you do - and maybe even if you don't - a road trip on your own can be a wonderful experience. On the drive home, I thought about what I learned on my September vacation.

If the only thing I had to consider was where do I feel my most creative and my most accepted, I would move to Ashland. There's something about the town that really works for me. There probably is a place like it in Canada only I don't know where that is. Ashland feels magical. While here at home, I'm considered somewhat unusual and a bit over the edge, in Ashland I'm downright conservative which means it's a city full of interesting people who stimulate me to be more personally and more creatively. Life is about relationships and those relationships impact who we become. Now that I've experienced being around other highly creative women, I crave more interaction of that nature which is why I took a second holiday to Ashland this year and why I am already planning to go back in June. Other creative women celebrate, stimulate, inspire, and encourage me in my creativity. It's great.

The B & B I stayed at was FABULOUS with just the right balance of privacy and conversation with the host. For the retreat in June, I thought I'd stay at the Ashland Springs Hotel to be nearer the classroom and the group but this accommodation was so wonderful that I've booked it again especially as it's also considerably less expensive and comes with more amenities. The difference in cost is spending money. My second B & B in Astoria was equally nice only it had a shared kitchen which wasn't a problem but I've learned that I want complete privacy and not to feel as if I'm being rude if I keep the door to my suite closed. Good learning.

While I had dinner with friends at some really good restaurants, when I wasn't meeting some one I bought simple groceries and cooked at "home". It was quiet and peaceful and quite yummy in a stress-less way and - of course - way less expensive and probably more healthy AND... on the Saturday night before I left... Ute came for dinner and we could sit and chat and make a cup of tea and chat some more and have dessert and chat some more with no hovering waiters wanting to clean up and go home. I liked being able to invite friends over. In the future, having a kitchen will be an important criteria.

Not every community has a Starbucks and that's okay because, even when they do, not every Starbucks has the kind of ambiance that makes me want to sit and journal. A quiet space is the important part. On this trip, I wrote at rest stops, on the porch of my B & B, beside a pond in the park, and in coffee shops. I made sure to make time for journal writing and to have some quiet spaces in my day. This is self care. Even when we're on a trip that is for us, we can get so busy that we don't take those bits of time for ourselves that are nourishing and we come home needing a holiday from our holiday. I make sure to move slow.

It is possible to travel without my sewing machine. No one died. In fact, I haven't sewn since returning home either. I've been spending a lot of time knitting and this is okay. Recently, I was talking to the owner of a local yarn shop and she said that she'd gone through a three week period where she didn't feel like knitting and everyone was panicking and she felt pressure to get back to knitting until she realized that she knits for fun and if she didn't feel like knitting, it was perfectly okay. It would come back. This is probably the longest break I've ever had from sewing and I'm okay with it. It will come back because I breath in fabric but I think these breaks are a way of recharging our batteries. I'm enjoying the meditative nature of knitting

I'm glad I took the surface design class. I feel a lot more confident about making marks on fabric and exploring the direction that may take me in. The laundry room is all cleaned out and the paints sorted and everything is ready to start mark making today... except the studio... which is a complete mess... so that's my first goal - clean the studio.

While painting, I'll be thinking about my 1-1 coaching with Diane. Sessions like that are quite personal with conversations about the fears that are holding you back and the hopes that you are working toward. Often we don't voice our fears and yet having a place to discuss them, bringing them out into the light of day, can make them less fearful and more manageable and at the same time discussing our hopes can lead to a plan of action and the support in getting there. Both are important.

Other things I learned on my September vacation are that I'm a good conversationalist, that I'm highly photogenic, that I'm inspiring, that I'm not too big or too unusual or too intimidating, and that I'm wanted and included. That might sound needy and yet on difficult days, these are really good things to know, good for our souls because holidays end and back home life quickly returns to normal and normal for me right now is the stress of the mess of the rest of my life. I have the learning and the souvenirs of my trip to continue to support and encourage me. YES YES

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - creative friendships

You have to be willing to give up what you don't want in order to get what you do.

- Edwene Gaines

Although I dragged my behind and put it off as long as possible - by procrastinating for several days and then by going for coffee with a friend yesterday morning - the studio is now clean. To be honest, I wasn't sure that I could actually get all the fabric I'd bought into the stash closet... which would mean dealing with my escalating fabric buying habits... which I really didn't want to look at too closely right now... so you can imagine how...

... delighted I was to move everything around and free up four and a half feet of shelving. YES YES - room for more fabric. When I phoned my friend to tell her what I'd managed to accomplish, she was stunned. Really? How did I do that? Apparently, it's a magic stash closet, every expanding, oh so accommodating, and now adorned with the logo from the brochure I picked up in Portland.

I had a carefully detailed shopping plan before I left that completely went out the window. One yummy ball of yarn became eleven black, six blue, and seven green - on sale - but still more than one. And one souvenir piece of fabric became...

... eleven - also on sale - plus the striped linen (bottom of the first picture) that was a remnant from MarcyTilton.com and arrived in the mail while I was gone. The fabrics are a mix of linen, cotton, and knits. The olive-lime-ish piece is net with black velvet dots that are scattered somewhat randomly. It's for an overlay but on what; I have no idea.

Shape Shape 2 contains a pattern for a combo A-line Skirt/Harem Pants that I've been admiring for a while. Sheri had sewn it and seeing it sewn was all it took to absolutely NEED to have the book. I bought Knit Your Socks On Straight not because I love knitting, or even wearing, hand knit socks but because I've tried every other sock knitting method and I wanted to try this one too. Just because. I was on the look out for Essentially Feminine Knits after seeing it at knit night just before I left. Not only is there an elegant and sophisticated poncho pattern but many of the sweaters have unusual lines and details and surprise backs.

The pattern is the Modern Silhouette Vest by Crossroads, part of Indygo Junction, Inc. I saw a model made up at Fabric of Vision and it was far more interesting in person than on the pattern cover. The rayon fabric is also from Fabric of Vision. One of my assignments from Diane in the coaching session was to find items that represented fluid to me. This fabric was one as...

... was this dress from the thrift store. Considering the size of the shoulder pads, it's most likely from the eighties. There was no label. I have no idea what size the garment is or the fabric content but it's a somewhat see-through knit with a flocked design. The bottom portion is long enough that I can cut it off and make a skirt from it and by adjusting the length from the top, the waist should work out.

Fluid to me was not just a movement, it's a flowing attitude of adjusting around the rocks and boulders of our lives and keeping on keeping on. This "charm" symbolized that for me.

And fluid is also about the evolution of our style which seems to be slightly behind the evolution of our personality and preferences. These three shrug pictures are from Sublime knitting books. The one above is more "prissy" like and conservative. This next one...

...is somewhat sassier with more flow and movement. It's less conservative and would be far more flattering on my figure. The third one...

... isn't necessarily the most flattering one but it represents the attitude I'm developing into of something just a little bit more unusual, less main stream, more individualized. Since the knot and the curved hemline would do great things for my bust, they might also minimize my tummy... or... sigh... I could exercise. SO much easier to knit.

I seem to have developed a fondness for thrift store furniture. This time it's not a chair, it's an end table. I bought this at Farmhouse Funk in Astoria which is on 10th and my car was parked on 14th. Luckily, it's quite light. The basket underneath was 40% off at Michaels. It has a lid which made it just perfect for...

... my yarn stash. I threw the black skeins on top, closed the lid, and pushed it under the end table. Together, the table and basket add warmth to the living room without adding visual clutter. That's another thing I learned on my vacation - that my house is perhaps a little too open and could use some warmer, more personal, and visually interesting things to look at. I'm working on that.

I picked up this doorknob at Vintage Hardware in Astoria. It's not vintage. You can order more. They only had one in stock so I brought it home to see what I think. The cupboards above my computer desk have six doorknobs. This adds personality so I may order five more.

The wind chime is currently hanging over the door to the studio and tinkles every time I walk by. I want to replace the purple net hanging cord with a silver chain and hang the chimes from the ceiling but not until I get wheels put on my work island and decide if I'm going to move the studio around. I don't want them to end up hanging in my face.

SO... that about covers it. I've talked about where I went, what I painted, what I learned and what I bought on my September vacation and now it's probably about time to move on to a new topic. Like getting to work in the studio. Thanks for sharing my holiday with me.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - invitations to a friend's home and the example of others

Change, even when it's for the good, can be frightening. But if you are going to transform your life through a journey to prosperity, you must try to learn to welcome change.

- Edwene Gaines

Owning an entire row of jacket patterns does not mean I have a yearning to sew jackets - cause I tried that and it didn't work, I don't wear jackets - but - even so - I have to wonder if having four cupboards of dyeing and painting supplies hides an inner yearning. Up until last fall, I also had a stack of canvasses. I gave most of those to my friend Francine who does actually paint... but I kept one... and you never know... however...

... right now, I'm working on painting on fabric and gathering some kind of skill that will allow me to add individualized details to my work. In cupboard one, the top shelf is tole paints, the second shelf is Tulip brand paints to the left and painting tools to the right, and the third shelf is Setacolor fabric paints to the left and Lumiere fabric paints to the right. Basically, the quality improves as you move downward and that's the path I'm following - using up the less desirable paints first while I'm building up my skills and betting that if I can work with the tough stuff, it'll be easier working with the good stuff.

Cupboard two is dyes on the top shelf, fabric pens, dye powders, paint sticks and transfer paints on the second shelf and professional grade acrylic paints on the third shelf. This is basically a cupboard that never gets opened. That's something to think about too - how could these supplies be worked in to what I'm already doing. Those four purple containers on the bottom left were bought to paint a couch and then I didn't. I could find a piece of furniture that I actually paint - LOL - even just for the fun of it and to use those paints.

AND... this cupboard is mess preventing supplies and tools. These do get used frequently. Below - not shown - is another cupboard of tubs and quart sized plastic containers for dyeing fabric gradations.

To make sure I paint on a regular basis - like hopefully daily - I set up a table between the work island and my computer desk. The trays from the paint cupboard are easily portable. Yesterday, after painting, I cleaned all the supplies and refilled the water glass and rinse tub ready for the today. In her book The Creative Woman's Getting It All Together At Home Handbook, author Jean Ray Laury mentions that her then mother-in-law advised her to never leave the loom unstrung. I don't weave, but that's good and transferable advice. If you're set up to do the work, you're more likely to do the work.

Start with ugly is an assignment from my Self Expressions workshop on creating pattern free textile art in your style. The basic concept of the assignment is that we're not afraid of ruining something we already think is ugly so we're more willing to risk and risking can take you places you never thought you'd go. This starting piece is from the workshop with Diane. It's the first one I made and a mish-mash of trials and ideas. In the end, I crumpled it up with some green paint which explains that blotching.

To start, I took a fat felt pen and meandered it over the surface. I don't usually work to music but on my trip I discovered Praise 106.5 and I was listening on-line which mean my pen bobbed along to the music.

Then I filled in spaces with the Setacolor paints which work best when mixed with substantial water. These paints are REALLY old - ten to fifteen years at least if not more - and a lot of them have turned lumpy and dried up. I'll use up what I can but I won't replace them since there are better products for what I want to do. With the sample, I tried putting the paint on thick and then watering it down with a wet brush and pulling it around as well as putting it on already watered down. From there...

... I just kept adding more layers and forgot to take a picture at each stage. The finished piece is significantly different than the starting point although I haven't decided if I like it. Not that it matters. I learned a lot AND... I painted another piece and this is good.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a paint place, a painted piece

The answer is very simple. Pray for the person you resent.

- Julia Cameron

I learned to knit the way I do now in my early twenties while doing my hairdressing apprenticeship. The two women that I worked with knit all the time and they taught myself and the other apprentice to knit as well... or re-taught in my case. I'd previously done some knitting using the throw method and they taught us the continental method which is smoother, faster, and a lot better for elbows sitting side by side on a bench in a small staff room.

One of the great things about knitting is its portability both inside and outside the home. You can knit just about anywhere. Before I started writing and then running my own business, I did a lot of knitting and then as life got busier, knitting went by the wayside until about six years ago when I joined a group as a way of getting out of the house and meeting other women. I've enjoyed getting back to knitting.

AND... as is typical of me... I've been learning how to improve my skills, particularly with aspects like buttonholes and ways of sewing the garment together plus different methods such as top down or side to side or in all one piece or in sections. As with sewing, I've explored fit with knits and how to construct a garment that is more individualized and flattering. Knitting is much slower than sewing but equally satisfying.

I've changed existing patterns and I've developed patterns of my own. At first, when I decided to set up a knitting business, my intent was to knit items to sell. That idea quickly changed. On my drive down and back through Washington and Oregon, I stopped at a lot of galleries, showed them my scarves, and asked what could you sell this for? The answer was often far less than the yarn to say nothing of the twenty-one hours it took to knit the scarf below. Selling at prices like that would not only be discouraging personally but would not create a viable business and therefore not qualify for the deductions.

Even though my objective is to legally meet the requirements for the in-home business deductions - which I have to say is a fabulous perspective from the perspective of doing whatever you want to do and not worrying about what "they" would buy - the idea I'm working on has to make sense SO...

...plan B is to knit prototypes and develop patterns and then publish and sell the patterns. Both the blue and the teal scarf are my adaptations. I'd say original design although I do have to wonder with all the years and years and years of knitting that's been going on if there are actually any original designs left. The pink is the center of a scarf I designed last year. Each end is lacy and the scarf is knit in two sections with a seam in the middle - the fatal flaw. I'll redo the design and change that aspect which will mean learning a new skill. And this is good. And so is designing and publishing versus knitting and selling.

Above is yesterday's painted piece. Again, it started with a sample from the workshop that was rather blah. See below.

With knitting, my focus is on having fun while meeting those in-home business requirements to legally qualify for the deductions. With painting, my focus is on having fun making marks on the fabric and seeing where they lead me. Having fun is a good focus. Play is good for us. We should all play far more often.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a new knitting direction

Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it.

- Ernest Holmes

Isn't it strange how we can have a yearning that comes to nothing and then suddenly, click, it works. I started collecting dyes and paints, buying books, taking workshops, and trying really hard to get into dyeing fabric twenty-five years ago and it just didn't work for me. In the end, I concluded that I could buy hand-dyed fabric. Perhaps, I was too fearful, too much of a perfectionist.

Eight years ago, a friend came for the weekend and we spent three days dyeing fabrics following specific formulas to complete the assignment for a workshop we were taking.... which I didn't really enjoy... the formulas... not the friend. And then, a few years after that, I began dyeing pieces intuitively using the color knowledge I've gained over the years. That was WAY more fun. I used the resulting fabric in my textile art work. The pieces were meant to be cut up and worked into a design. Now, I want to make the switch to creating fabrics for fashion and to making more purposeful marks. HOWEVER...

... first I decided I needed to play. On Saturday night, I already had my pajamas on and was curled up on the couch when I got the urge to paint. Painting in my pajamas? Sure, why not? I decided that since the Setacolors needed to be watered down so much, I would use them to create backgrounds and in the process use them up and then, when they're dry, figure out how to take the backgrounds forward.

In the end, I emptied out ALL of the paint pots. There are no more Setacolor paints in my studio. For some of the semi-dried up ones, I added water to the jar and let it sit overnight and that helped to loosen some of the paint. Others were already too plastic-lumpish that they weren't breaking down much even with the water so I smeared them on the surface anyway and used...

... what is fast becoming my favourite tool - a pot scrubber with a handle from the dollar store - to spread the lumps around.

I started by laying the fabric on the painting surface and adding the first color. My lines were mostly horizontal at the beginning and then later on, when I realized I was only going in one direction, I started making them vertical, diagonal, and wavy. From piece to piece, I could feel myself loosening up.

Then I added a second color by splotching it down next to the first one and letting them bleed together. I mostly used a wide soft brush to apply the paint.

Each piece contains three colors, one of which was used up entirely on that piece and one or two of which moved to the next piece.

I kept using what I had and adding new colors to the pieces one-by-one until all the paints were gone. The pieces were painted from back to front in the image above plus the one below on Saturday night.

This one was quite wet and the paint was going through to the felt below and coming up in the next pieces so I let everything dry overnight and then painted with the neutral colors on Sunday.

These pieces were painted front, back, and then middle using white, metallic grey, copper, black, and pearlescent. One of the frustrating factors with Setacolors is that they dry much lighter than they look wet. I'll show you all the dried pieces in tomorrow's post before I start playing with stamps and stencils.

If you're getting tired of painting posts, this week will be all painting and knitting and next week will be either knitting or nothing since on Friday, I'm heading to Calgary to look after my adorable grandson for a week while his parents are on vacation. What happens on the blog depends on how exhausted I am after spending the day with an eighteen month old and on how much knitting actually happens. I may be a lump on the couch unable to even move my arms. I have no idea. It's been a LONG time since I looked after a toddler. Right now, I'm knitting samples for a scarf pattern that I want to make in a variety of yarn weights to achieve different looks. I figure if I keep it simple - same pattern, different yarn, different needles - this might work while grandparenting full time.

Talk soon- Myrna

Grateful - loosening up, some pretty painted pieces

She was unstoppable, not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she continued on despite them.

- Beau Taplin

Just as the angle of an airplane determines its altitude, so does the approach we take - to family, to work, to life in general - determine the attitude we present to the world. The way we solve a problem is often secondary to the approach we take in facing the problem, our outward expression every bit as critical as the inward struggle to stabilize the unstable. When the skies above appear stormy, how will you steer that internal plane we call attitude.

The quote is taken from the back cover of John Maxwell's book How High Will You Climb? As you can tell from the blurb, it's about attitude. The inside cover reads: When our attitude crashes, we have two alternatives. We can either alter the difficulty or alter ourselves.... which is often easier said than done. Most of us recognize the impact that negativity has on our lives but recognition doesn't necessarily make it easier to climb out of that hole when your stable is greatly destabilized.

The past year has been a mixed bag of things to deal with, most of them not much fun. My Oregon holiday was exactly the break I needed and while I came back to much of the same in terms of the stress of the mess of the rest of my life, I am determined to get on with enjoying life because time certainly hasn't stood still and I don't want to waste what I have.

When I read Julia Cameron's quote... The answer is very simple. Pray for the person you resent ... the thought that popped into my mind was that sometimes it is not a person you resent; sometimes it's a situation. Now, every time my mind turns to negativity, I pray into the situation and as corny as it sounds, that proactive approach truly is calming.

I've also been playing more. All these piece used fabric and paints and tools that have been stored for years in the laundry room. It was much more fun to actually paint with them, to let go of achieving FABULOUS results to achieve results of some kind and in the process to learn. This applies to much of life. Flow is so much better than control.

A friend and I were talking the other day about how have we changed as we've aged and we both agreed that we've come to realize that many of the things we used to worry about don't really matter in the bigger scheme of things AND how important relationships are, especially our relationship and the honesty we bring to it. A friend who tells you the truth is a valuable friend. I'm lucky to have several.

When I turned forty, someone said to me but just wait until you're fifty, fifty is so much better. And it is... which is saying a lot... because forty was pretty amazing. Fifty for me is much more relaxed; it has more let go and let's see in it. I play more - like with these paints - and experiment more - like with fashions that may or may not suit me -and I'm really enjoying that change - which is of course a different attitude from the one I had before.

Years and years ago, when I first went into business, I had some very rigid opinions on what I and other artists should be paid and completely failed to understand the older artists who were less focused on what they were worth and more focused on creating, enjoying the process, and finding a way to afford the cost of more creating. And now I understand. More than anything, I just want to create.

Yesterday, I spent most of the afternoon working on a scarf prototype blending together different stitch patterns into one overall design. I'm not worried about how long it took or what the scarf could sell for or if this was a complete waste of my time. Instead, my primary concern is to use my artistic skills to design, write, and publish patterns as a viable business to get those deductions and if the patterns sell, what a delightful bonus that will be. I do - of course - want them to sell but that's not my main focus. I'm not thinking at all about what will "they" buy. I'm thinking about what do I want to try and that shift of focus is a lovely perspective.

Growing up, "they" said to follow your passion and the money will follow as if it was a sure thing, like a law of science or something. Well, I'm here to say that's not always true or at least not consistently true. My number one passion is fabric and I followed that route and some years I made money and more years I struggled and in the process I burnt out and wondered if I even liked fabric at all anymore. One aspect of the knitting business I'm thoroughly enjoying is that it's not fabric. I'm not saying that fabric will never be a part of any business life again but right now, no... and that's good.

The pieces above are the tricolor ones now that they've been dried, pressed, and taken outside to photograph. The colors look pretty consistent on my screen; hopefully they do on yours as well. Last night, I started adding more layers to two of them and WHAT FUN ! ! ! ! Right now what I'm ending up with looks a bit like a hot mess but I'm painting my way through this learning curve and we'll see where it takes me. At some point, I'll need to make a shift from creating all over fabric designs to pieces with more feature elements. It'll come. Eventually. Through painting.

The other day, I posted about starting with ugly. Above is the wardrobe I packed to go to Oregon in May. The polka dot and the pink sweaters were both new. When I washed the pink one, the front - which was rayon - shrunk even in cold water while the back - which was a woven polyester - did not. I threw it away. When I washed the polka dot one...

... the color ran which was quite discouraging since I really loved that sweater BUT then... the thought... it's ugly... and why not take out the underarm seam, lay it flat, and see what I and my paints can do with it. I have that project sitting in the back of my mind as well as the coat I cut out to take to Oregon that need some spray painting before the weather gets too cold to do it outside and another brown/black check project that's jumping up and down demanding attention.

I haven't sewn since the beginning of September which is a really long break for me already and by the time I get back from looking after my grandson, it'll have been over a month. I'm getting itchy; it's good to have projects lined up and ready to go and it's been good to take this break to work on other things. It's good to be developing some confidence with paint so I can begin to think about adding surface design to those garments. That'll be a next step on the learning curve.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - thinking about working with the sweater BEFORE I threw it away

If you don't search for more, you'll never find it.

- Galen Weston

Today, I'm spending the afternoon at my friend Rosemarie's... which is probably a good thing... beyond the knitting, chatting, and friendship... because my painting in the studio is looking more like a hot mess than something useful. I'll post some more pictures later when I have layered images on all the pieces. Today, a break from painting might be a good thing for the learning curve.

Thinking clearly is one of the difficulties with severe chronic pain which makes communication an adventure. Sometimes - many times - Howard and I only appear to be having the same conversation, something I discovered again yesterday when a friend emailed asking me to clarify how the in-home deductions were going to work.

I asked Howard to make sure that I was going to explain it clearly and discovered that when we discussed if my having a business would help with HIS income tax and he said yes, what he meant was it would help with MY income tax years down the road if I was ever earning income because I could carry the deductions forward BUT he can only deduct me fully if I'm not earning an income and he can't deduct any expenses associated with my business even if I'm a dependent. He went on to say that right now, he needed me to make the least amount of money possible. SIGH...

... that's a completely different picture than the one I've been operating under SO... my new plan is to continue enjoying knitting, to design the pieces, to write out the instructions clearly, and to package everything together and put it in a Future Business box for down the road when needed. The start up will be ready. How's that for things changing radically with one question, one clarification. It's frustrating and happens often.

And now - finally - the video. I wore the Origami Skirt and the Faultlines vest yesterday so I propped the camera up on the end table and made a short video of me walking across the room. A model I am not although I'd love to take a class and learn how to walk and turn and twirl and feel more confident. I think it's be fun. I've looked for one but so far haven't found anything recreational as opposed to professional.

AND THEN... since I was already in video mode... I changed into the Lyn Mizono Vogue 1410 dress and took that video too. The weather is getting colder and it's unlikely I'll wear the dress again until next summer although I plan to make a winter version with sleeves. It's a comfortable, and very fun, dress to wear.

Both videos are silent except for the odd self-conscious giggle. I probably would have done better if I'd been talking through it but frankly, it didn't occur to me which really does point out how self conscious I feel because I'm usually quite a talker. Oh well, the more I make, the easier it'll get. Enjoy.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - I've, finally, kept my promise to make the videos

... we are able to find inspiration and creative motivation anywhere we are determined to look for it. We always have the opportunity to move forward.

- Julia Cameron

My friend Wendy has been coming to sew most Wednesday nights for the past twelve years. We've known each other for thirty-four years but even so, it's tough to tell someone you just don't want to do that anymore. I phoned her yesterday and said I have a great idea that I hope you'll think is a great idea. You need to learn to knit. She replied right away, how about crochet? Apparently she'd already bought a hook and some yarn wanting to learn. YES YES

We started meeting on Wednesday nights when she needed to get out of the house and develop a hobby. Now I need to get out of the house so we're going to meet Monday evenings at Starbucks along with another friend. The two of them will learn to crochet and I - with my modest, basic skills - will teach them and hope they surpass me quickly. While they crochet, I'll knit. I'm so pleased it worked out. I would have hated to hurt my friend's feelings.

Let me just get the whining and grumpiness out of the way first. Every time I open the black paint, it bugs me like crazy that while this jar is brand new to me, it's obviously old and turning to sludge already. I've been able to work with it but when I can't - or when it runs out - I'll need to find a different source that turns over the stock quicker so I don't end up with this problem again. Ideally, I'd love to buy wholesale but I'm not sure there even is a Jacquard wholesaler in Canada. Sigh... at the very least I'd like to buy fresh.

Rosemarie and I discussed several of my pieces yesterday. While she liked the green swirls on this one, she thought the purple was too blotchy and that the colors needed to be closer together so I spray painted over it with grey and that did tone down the purple but it didn't make it much interesting, just duller.

What I want is something more free form with flowing lines and energy and light. Last night, I pulled up one of Gayles' pieces on my screen and faced it toward the paint table for inspiration. It helped a lot. This is...

... a detail of the piece as it was last night. I still want to do a bit more work but this is MUCH closer to where I'm going and along the lines of the way I want the coat to look only...

... when I spray painted the pieces yesterday, they came out much lighter than I had anticipated and I didn't want to go too thick with the paint and end up with plastic fabric. The color is...

... blue plus green plus grey. It's very soft and cloud-like and should be a good base to work up from. I don't plan to start painting the coat pieces until I'm getting more consistent results only that's likely to be at some point in the future where it's too cold to spray paint outside so they are ready and waiting now and that's good.

I also spray painted all the scraps so I can practice painting ideas on them before I work on the coat pieces. This seemed like a VERY good idea.

This morning, I'm having an early breakfast with my son before he goes to work and then journal writing followed by laundry and packing to leave for Calgary in the morning. A friend is coming for coffee this afternoon so... it'll be a good and busy day. There should be a posting tomorrow if I get it written in-between things since we're leaving in the morning. Next week depends on how grandparenting solo goes.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - progress with painting

Whatever the conscious mind thinks and believes, the subconscious identically creates.

- Brian Adams

We're off bright and early this morning - aiming to get to our daughter's in time to visit our grandson's daycare. When Jessica asked me to come stay while they went on holiday, I asked her to please not cancel daycare. I was pretty sure that after a few 24-7 days of grand-parenting we'd need to crash on the couch and stop being hyper-vigilant. This is a toddler. Into everything. It's been a LONG time.

After I clarified the business deductions with her - and discovered I was wrong - and decided to create the Business Box - my friend asked why not just knit for you? - which made me think. While designing patterns is knitting for me because I'm exploring the potential of an idea, it's a different kind of knitting from following a pattern you admire and want to wear yourself. Right now, I have yarn for three projects that were on hold while I followed potential. In the end, I decided she was right. Why not knit for me? This business mix-up seems, once again, a sign to focus on self-care.

I packed the scarf you saw earlier this week AND the yarn just above for the Vogue sweater along with the swatch sized needles as well as needles one size bigger and one size smaller in case the swatching wasn't accurate, which it sometimes isn't once you make a bigger piece. This is a nice yarn to knit with, 100% wool, and not outrageously priced. A good combo.

I'm looking forward to Grandma time with Daimon and after that I'm looking forward to getting back to work in the studio. Along with some garment ideas to work on, I have new paints to play with. These are from Walmart for $4.97 each. The same brand from the paint store was $12.99. That's a HUGE difference when you're using several cans on one piece. Once again, it pays to look around especially since I've discovered I like working with spray paints.

It's a fair weather paint. I won't be spraying inside especially because it seems I'm somewhat messy. I've been washing paint drips off the floor all week and finally bought a 2' x 6' runner that should solve that problem. It's much less expensive than ruining the floor. Taking a break from the painting is probably a good idea. I've become addicted to adding just a little bit more of this and that to the piece and you definitely can "over-edit". Eventually you ( I ) need to step away from the paint.

Naturally, I'm taking Daimon a present. My daughter said no clothes, no toys, and no food. And, what exactly does that leave? Books. YEAH - I love books. I bought him a new one for each night we're there - and a few extras because I just couldn't decide and besides what if he already has one of these book. They are all together with the toy he forgot last time he visited, our Grandma and Grandpa mugs, and the hat my friend knit for him in a basket that is a gift for Miss Chloe who is...

... moving to our house. Ever since Daimon was born, she's been getting increasingly jealous and lately quite vindictive in terms of chewing up his toys and getting into things she's not supposed to - like climbing on the piano to chew up that expensive programmed car key. The vet says it'll only get worse and it's good that they have a new home for her. Our daughter and son-in-law wanted to make sure she went to a good home where she'd get spoiled and apparently she loves me and wants to live here. I had only intended to get a dog when I was very Very VERY old - as in too old to travel and I'm definitely not there yet - so we'll see where this goes. I have a feeling I'll be spoiling her rotten in no time.

Whenever I mention to someone that Miss Chloe is moving in, they reply with something along the lines of at least that'll get you out walking which - when it happens so frequently - does make you wonder if it's looking like you need to get out walking. I have fluffed up a little in the last few months but really, I didn't think it was THAT much. Sigh... we'll see what happens when she arrives. She'll definitely need to be walked but she's also a bit of a drama queen and doesn't like to mess up her curly locks with a coat and boots.... which she'll have to wear if we're going to walk in winter. it's COLD. Perhaps a rhinestone studded coat would work for her or - LOL - I could knit her a sweater. Not likely.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - baby snuggles tonight

It's all too easy as an artist to allow the shape of our career ( substitute life ) to be dictated to us by others. We can so easily wait to be chosen. Such passivity invites despair. To remain healthy and vital, artists ( people ) must stay proactive in their own behalf. As an artist ( person) , I must be alert to keeping myself in effective training. Like a creative triathlete, I must take care to be well-rounded. I must take stock of my talents and take the time and care to try to use them fully.

- Julia Cameron

There was a tremendous amount of road work being done on the highway to Calgary but luckily the weather was fabulous and we were able to enjoy the slower pace while still arriving in time to meet Sage, the wonderful lady who looks after our grandson. This week's postings will most likely be all about our holiday here with Daimon. There is definitely no sewing although I did knit about six inches on the scarf today. I doubt that a daily update on that would be too thrilling.

Yesterday was our first day alone with Daimon and he was delightful. It is like riding a bicycle; it all came back including how to multi-task. It took me a year to figure that out when we had Jessica. For the longest time, I'd just sit and watch her and do nothing else and then eventually I learned that I could fold laundry and watch her or cook and watch her and that worked out much better.

We had a few teary moments due to lack of communication - GRANDMA, listen to me said in baby gurbish - but all in all it was a great day that ended with a bath, a sweet smelling baby, a bottle, a story, and right to sleep. We have him all day again tomorrow and then on Tuesday and Wednesday he'll spend some time at daycare. This is good. Grandpa had a nap when Daimon had a nap.

Dear Jessica... having known me your entire life, I am sure it will come as no shock that it took less than twenty-four hours for my anal organizational genes to kick in especially after hearing your goals around cooking. I have been reorganizing your kitchen. Thankfully, you've asked me to do this for you in the past so I know you won't mind. I would appreciate that should you ever have sister-in-laws could you please tell them not to take it personally. They could always assign me the task since this is me. Hopefully, the reorganization will help you juggle your very busy schedule. You may however wonder...

... why Daimon now thinks the tupperware drawer is a toy box, that the glass pans are going night-night, and that the blue jug is his for drinking out of. A tip about mothering I don't think I've shared before is that you have to say yes to something when you're saying no to most everything. Don't worry. The sink cupboard is tied closed. He did however help me empty the island including climbing right inside to get the bag in the back corner and now thinks we should keep emptying it. This too shall pass and/or we can put latches on the doors if you'd like.

And my dear darling son-in-law, your bottles are now over the fridge and if you are looking for the white cutting board, it's under the oil and vinegars over the stove. That keeps an oily film from spreading across the shelf bottom - a good idea especially with cookbooks nearby.

Miss Chloe has been good but I - as directed - and of course I'm thrilled to do so - am posting a picture of our little darling and his peach. He ate the ENTIRE thing and was upset when the pit went in the garbage. He helped himself to it in the fridge. ate grapes after that, yogurt, and Cheerios, and some of Grandma's dinner too. He's definitely NOT hungry and is looking forward to our walk to Starbucks tomorrow morning.

Talk soon - Myrna/Mom

Grateful - Time with Daimon

Grandma said you phoned last night after I went to bed and that you're having a good time being together and doing things like walking on the beach and that you're eating fondue tonight. Would I like fondue? Is it yummy? Is it like tea? I like sticking my hand in Grandma's tea cup and flicking tea everywhere. She said you might not like that but I'm happy and good enough.

Today, I had eggs for protein and lots and lots of fruit but not as much fruit as yesterday because Grandma said it made an unpleasant appearance - twice. I used my spoon sometimes. I like to stick Cheerios in my yogurt and then put them in my mouth. Mostly I use my hand. It's sticky.

Grandma took all of these pictures of me. Forty-five she said just to get a few good ones. I wanted to climb up and help her but she wouldn't pick me up even though I said...

... please and thank you over and over and over again. It doesn't always work. What's up with that? I'm not allowed Chloe's bone either BUT....

... Grandma lets me drip milk from my bottle on the floor and then she lets me wipe it up with the rag. I'm a big boy. I'm helping. I like cleaning up. Grandma says this is good training and make it fun.

Maybe if I take the camera case she'll let me take a picture. No. How come I'm a big boy when I clean up but not big boy enough to have the camera? Grandma let me push the button and take selfies. She said we can't post those cause she looks like she forgot to put her make-up on but not really... she did... put her make-up on... cause she thinks if you have your make-up on and know what's for dinner that's most of the battle. Really?

We went outside to sit in the sunshine. I walked on the grass with my bare feet. I'm not supposed to tell you that OR that I slept in until 7:22 cause the note says NO LATER than 7:00. Oops. Miss Chloe was doing her sniff and squat routine just as I was getting ready to sit on the step and have my picture taken only she saw a jack rabbit and went running off. Grandma ran after her carrying me and then she ran back to give me to Grandpa only he ran after Chloe instead but she was gone, gone far away. We waited inside while Grandpa went to look for her and a nice lady name Heidi phoned and said Chloe walked right into her house and invited herself for lunch. Her little boy is three and he likes hotdogs and KD like me. Imagine. He gave some to Chloe. Grandma says...

... Chloe is grounded forever and ever and ever amen and is absolutely not going anywhere without her leash. Poor Chloe. On the other hand, I am....

... a little whirlwind. After breakfast this morning, we went to Starbucks again. It's a long walk but I like my stroller and I really like cinnamon brioche from Grandma and steamed vanilla milk from Grandpa. When we got back, I helped Grandma clean the fridge. I told her I didn't know if you wanted her to clean the fridge but she said it would be okay. After that, we played and read and I climbed in the bathtub and got wet from the water that was still there and I had a two hour nap - and so did Grandpa - and then we walked to the grocery store for more strawberries and raspberries and a pear but not peaches. They didn't have any. Why not? I wanted peaches. I had peach yogurt instead... for my early dinner... because Grandma and Grandpa are wearing me out... and I was hungry. I went to bed early too. I was so tired.

LOVE YOU - Daimon

Grateful - for Grandma and Grandpa who love me LOTS and LOTS and LOTS

We slept in again. This time until 7:24 - most likely because Daimon was up in the night. He just wanted to be changed and rocked back to sleep but it took me a while to figure that out but once I did, I enjoyed snuggling a wrapped up baby.

When my kids were little, cribs had adjustable sides which made it easier to take the baby in and out. Now, they don't. The sides are high and the mattress is low and apparently this is safer. Really? How can dropping the poor child the last three feet be safer for the child or how can leaning over the edge and darn near falling in yourself be good for (grand) parental backs. Personally, I don't get it BUT... the snuggly blanket did make it easier to lower him this time and thankfully, he kept right on sleeping.

It's Howard's birthday on Friday and he wanted to shop for his present here in Calgary - at a store just down the road from the best Value Village I've ever been at. It was big and roomy and clean and had lots of stock. The purse above is brand new. It's a David Jones and a similar one on the Hudson's Bay site is $298.00 which is similar to the price of another near match on the David Jones site. I couldn't find this exact purse BUT... I bought it for $29.98 and I think that was a really good deal. It's that fabulous shade of fuchsia/magenta that I love so much with an orange interior.

The saucers that I bought for mixing paints on have the indent for tea-cups. They're white which is good for colors but that indent makes it hard to use all the pant. These white plates are similar in size, have no ident, and were six for $2.99.

I tried on five or six sweaters and only liked the quality, color, and feel of this one... which is too small... and that's okay... because it's only slightly too small and I intend to do something about my fluffing up when I get home including walking the dog. She loves to get out right now but we'll see what she thinks - and what I think - when it's snowy and cold.

The restaurant we had lunch at was near Michaels. I went in looking for a basket and came out with some beads. The "red label" strings were 50% off. The "pink" ones are the same color as the purse. The others are silver and turquoise. I wanted them to go with...

... this pendant. The string that currently supports it are wearing out and I want to make a new chain with beads. While I was deciding on those silver circles I had a fabulous conversation with a young jewelry designer named Jorge and while I was waiting in line to pay, I talked to a young lady in her fourth year of art and design. She's going to be a large scale sculpture artist and already has a position pending. So fun. The line - not so fun. I have never been in a Michaels when there were eleven people in line before. Good for crafts; not so great for waiting.

Daimon thought my new bag was interesting but only from the perspective of dragging it across the room and filling it up with his toys. He didn't seem as excited about the color or the perfect pockets as I was. He did try chewing on the strap but - luckily - it's "yucky"... but not pizza... pizza is yummy.

Tomorrow, Daimon is going to daycare again. He enjoyed playing with his friends and I enjoyed the way his eyes lite up and how excited he was to see me when I picked him up. Howard and I plan to come back to the house and then walk to Starbucks and back, do a few errands, pick up our mess and get organized for when Jessica and Kyle get home on Thursday, and generally have a quiet day.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - recognition, joy, and eyes that light up

The soul of a child is the loveliest flower that grows in the garden of God. Its climb is from weakness to knowledge and power, to the sky from the clay and the clod.

To beauty and sweetness it grows under care, neglected tis ragged and wild. Tis a plant that is tender and wondrously rare, the sweet wistful soul of a child.

Be tender oh gardener and give it its share of moisture, of warmth, and of light; and let it not lack for painstaking care to protect it from frost and the blight.

A glad day shall come when its bloom shall unfold. It will seem like an angel has smiled. Reflecting a beauty and sweetness untold, in the sensitive soul of a child. - author unknown

When we had Jessica, I included the poem above on her birth announcement. I've been reminded of it all week and of how hugely trusting and what an incredible honor it is for our daughter and son-in-law to ask us to look after Daimon for a week. We're having a wonderful time together and as I watch him plan and explore, I'm struck again - or perhaps in a new way - by what an incredible miracle a child is. While I am absolutely sure that I do not want to have a child now, I am equally sure that if I could have parented back then with the wisdom and maturity I have now, I would have been a better parent.

One thing I'd love to do is find a way to bottle up all that creative energy and problem solving. Nothing gets in a baby's way. If they can't figure "it" out one way, they'll try "it" another way. As adults we lose those critical and creative thinking skills to a system of one right answers, a fear of being wrong, and a need for acceptance that compromises. To teach our children to truly be themselves is a difficult task when we're still learning it ourselves... but a valuable one.

Daimon - like his mother - has an active brain. He's constantly in motion looking for new discoveries and new ways of doing things and all too quick the new stuff is old stuff and he's once again looking for new adventures. Boredom is a constant threat and yet easily averted when the world is a wonderland. There is so much to learn at this age and yet what a task to keep up with a brain like that, to give it new questions to ponder, new textures to feel, new objects to identify, and new words to learn in that bubbling, giggling, joyful way of his. Just this week I've watched him grow and develop and when I see him next, he'll be even more mature. A miracle.

As I head back to my studio this weekend, I'm inspired to think like my grandson, to just try it and see, to throw this, feel that, see what sound this makes, to go where can I go, do what can I do, ignore boundaries and fully explore new experiences - to be a chid.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a child shall lead them

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.

- Pablo Picasso

P.S. - Daimon thinks the Skittles are a musical instrument. No candy was fed to this child.

It's noon and Howard has gone to the airport to pick up our daughter and son-in-law. Daimon is asleep and shouldn't wake up until they're back home. That way, they can go in and get him up while we make ourselves scarce to aid in the transition and to give them some family time.

We plan to walk to Starbucks... again... I think. Howard may have had enough walking for today. This morning, I detoured off the path to check out houses in the neighbourhood and it took us the long... Long... LONG way around... as in kilometers out of our way. I'm sure Howard thought I was completely lost at several points but we did end up exactly where we wanted to be and it kept Daimon occupied.

Yesterday, I went back to Value Village. As I said, it's the best one I've been too. Overnight, a new pair of shoes had been put on the rack. Clarks. Barely worn. $11.99. This is a HUGE find for me from two perspectives. One, they are fabulous shoes, more expensive than I'd normally buy and two, at least three or four times in the past I've found Clarks in a thrift store for my friend Caroline but not for myself. This time, it's my turn. YEAH.

Besides purses and shoes, I was looking for things to practice my fledgling painting skills on. This white sweater is too big, 100% cotton, and has easy to unstitch side seams so I can lay it flat and paint on it. I like that idea but first...

... I'll practice some more. There are eight yellow napkins. I thought they'd be fun to paint with similar colors and then cut up in pieces and put back together in some format to create a garment. I'm not sure what kind of garment yet but the idea is tickling. Below the napkins is a pink with orange hued, 100% cotton, tabbed curtain from Ikea and below that a pink-ish brown, heavy weave, curtain. Both are enough to make a pair of pants although I'm not sure that's what they'll become. What I know for sure is that there's lots of play room on those panels.

We're leaving for home bright and early in the morning. We plan to stop and visit my friend Francine along the way and should arrive home early to mid afternoon... which is great. We'll have a bit of time together with our boys and tomorrow Howard is leaving on business and I'l have a week to do some errands around the house and play in the studio. Perhaps I'll get some painting done over the weekend to post next week. Or next week. BUT definitely I'm going to sew a garment. The last time I actually used my sewing machine was before the 8th of September when I left for Oregon. We are missing each other - VBG.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a surprisingly easy - and delightful - week looking after Daimon

This weekend is Thanksgiving in Canada. Apparently - according to last night's news - our Thanksgiving weekend used to be in November like the United States and was changed to October in 1957. Personally, I think that was a great idea because November is way too close to Christmas.

We arrived back home on Friday and Saturday morning after breakfast Howard left on business so I've spent most of the weekend working in the studio which is fun but lacks turkey. Earlier, before we left for Calgary, I'd told the "boys" that I didn't want to cook the turkey this year and if they wanted turkey, they needed to cook it. They declined which is - of course - their choice so I had them over for apple crisp instead and went back to playing in the studio.

Micky Lawler's book SkyDyes was (and may still be) hugely popular with textile artists wanting to paint their own fabrics and especially with those creating landscape designs. It was published in 1997 and utilizes Setacolor paints which work best with plenty of water. That's almost twenty years ago and this was still not the first book I'd bought on painting. I had a yearning way back when. What I find funny is that....

... in 1997 I couldn't paint with any kind of uniformity to get an all over fabric useful for cutting up and piecing into a design and now...

... I can't seem to get anything but uniform "designs". The piece above is the most abstracted and even it veers toward even. And that's okay because...

... not every fabric needs to be a star. These layered background-ish pieces can be cut up and incorporated into a garment and if some star power is needed, it can be painted in or stitched on top and....

... that's a very familiar way of working for me and quite possibly the bridge into using painted fabrics. When we got home from Calgary, I did a bit more work on all of these pieces and then...

... packed up the painting supplies and moved them to the laundry room. The light is much, much, MUCH better here in the studio and I prefer working here but apparently I'm exceptionally good at over-painting which...

... required a considerable amount of time and effort to clean the paint off the wall, cabinets, and floor. I don't want to be continually worrying about that plus the water is in the laundry room and the laundry room is a carpeted walk down the hallway. It's only a matter of time before some paint gets on the carpet and that wouldn't be good. What is good is that...

... I'm about to start on Marcy Tilton's Vogue 8934 coat pattern using a combination of purchased and painted fabric.

The brown is a small black and brown check. It's dense with a nice hand and a silky reverse side. I'll use the painted piece shown for the patches although all the same may be too much and blotchy. If so, the darker gold piece (third down from top) would work well too. I'll just have to play and see what happens but first I'll sew a muslin to get the length and shape right. This will be my first sewing since the beginning of September and hopefully - VBG - I remember how.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a return to sewing

You must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose.

- Indira Ghandi

This week last year was one of the worst I have ever lived through and the 365 days that followed have been filled with roller coaster ups and downs related to my husband's health and to the impact of his health on mine. By the time the issue came to a head, I was already beyond exhausted and at first all I could do was cry and cry and cry. Thank God for the friends who were there for me. As sick as I was of crying, I can only imagine how they felt. Eventually...

... I caved and did something I almost never do - asked for medication. The anti-anxiety drug my doctor prescribed has worked wonders. In fact, there have been times since when a good cry was what I really wanted and it's darn hard to cry on those things. They've really helped me cope.

At first I wasn't hungry and actually lost weight and then - over the last few months - I've been packing on the pounds to the point that I've reached an all time high, numbers I've never seen before and hope to never see again. This is not the kind of "personal best" most of us are aiming for. Being this heavy is incredibly uncomfortable both physically and emotionally. Something has to change. I either need to tone up and lose weight or acquire an entirely new wardrobe because I'm at the edge of all my big clothes. I'd prefer to tone up and lose weight.

Yesterday, I researched the clean eating approach because it eliminates many of the foods I'm already sensitive too. If you've tried this way of eating, I'd love to hear your opinion. It seems it could also help with my goal to learn more about cooking and - from what I've read - it's important to incorporate exercise. Now that I have a dog that needs to be walked regularly, that should be less of a problem but I'm definitely a fair weather walker. Right now, we - as in Miss Chloe and I - have been taking a long walk in the mornings and a shorter one in the evenings. Hopefully, I can carry on with that when the cold weather comes.

One of the things that's so much better these last seven months is the work in the studio. Once the crying quite and I calmed down, I started putting a lot of emphasis on skill development including my two trips to Oregon. Before, I couldn't seem to push myself to do the work and the days were filled with endless, empty hours and now, I have so many ideas that there's not enough time in the day to get them all done. This is good. It's energizing. A fabulous bonus if you have to take drugs when you're not a take drugs kind of person.

Yesterday, I cut out the Vogue 8934 coat and then sewed up the underarm seams on the polka dot sweater that I'd painted the day before. Now that I have some experience, the next time I take a sweater apart I'll do a better job but right now, it's painted and back together and turned out not half bad for a sweater that was "ruined" by running dots. Once I pulled the tape off, there were a few places to touch up and in other areas I spritzed some black paint to imitate runs and achieve better balance of the grey tones. All in all, it's pretty great for a first try if I say so myself.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - a now wearable sweater

We are made anxious by a life filled with too much velocity. But a life with too little velocity also hinders us. Great swaths of time before us can be intimidating. Relieved of any excuse, we feel pressured to perform. Instead, we are often most productive when we have limited time.

- Julia Cameron.

Yesterday, I blogged, went to Starbucks to journal, took Miss Chloe for a long walk, gave the house a thorough cleaning since it hadn't been done for weeks, cleaned the downstairs fridge, sewed the darts, serge finished the seams, and sewed the center back seam on the coat, finished knitting the grey scarf, picked up groceries for dinner, and went to the paint store to research fireplaces, tiles, and countertops.

And then, I started painting the fireplace. I sprayed the insert with a gloss black and removed as many of the shiny brass pieces as possible to spray them silver. I had to paint the ones on the doors (including the handles) in place. Tricky. The tile is primed and ready for a faux finish. I'll paint the mantle first so I don't drip paint on my hard work doing it the wrong way around.

My goals for today are to put two coats on the fireplace mantle and to work with the painted fabric to make the patches for the Vogue 8934 coat. The main fabric seems to be working well and I've decided to use two of the painted fabrics for the patches and need to play with the placement of each on the design wall. I really wanted to get to that last night only there wasn't enough time and I didn't want to rush the process trying to get a picture for the blog so.... just a fireplace today.

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - that tile and countertop paint = a color change with less mess and less expense

Tenacity is when you follow your heart - when the whole world is screaming to get back into your head.

- Sonya Choquette

Both of my goals for yesterday were accomplished. I put three coats of white on the fireplace mantle and splashes of lime and turquoise over the primer on the tiles. Today, I'll cover those with black and plastic and create a marbled look. I'm excited to see how both it and...

...my coat turn out. I started choosing the patches by pinning the darker ones around the hem and the lighter ones along center front and then I played with which fabric should go where for the rest of the patches. Above, the lighter one is on the left shoulder and the right pocket. I think it's too bright and too blotchy. I decided to have the light ones up center front and the dark ones everywhere else.

At first, the back patch looked too big, most likely because I narrowed the back shoulder width by 1 1/2". When I cut that same amount off the patch, it looked more proportional. The strip of the darker print seems to break up the lighter expanse and add a point of interest. I'm debating stenciling letters. I'll see after the collar is on.

To attach the patches, I used a short, narrow zigzag. I wanted a dark color but not black. The olive I used for the first stitch sample was exactly right so I went with that.

All of the hemline patches are centered over the darts except for the two closest to center front. If I'd centered them, they would have overlapped the patch next to them so I drew a chalk line 5/8" from the edge and placed that over the dart making sure the two center patches matched side to side.

A 2" band is sewn to each side of center front and the button patches are sewn to the band. I have enough of the lighter painted fabric to cut out the under band - the one with the buttons - which might nicely compliment the over band with the buttonholes. I'll play with that idea once I'm further along. It's tickling for now, as is an idea for the collar. So far, I'm really pleased with how the coat is turning out and I'm especially thrilled to be using my very own painted fabric. YES YES ! ! !

Talk soon - Myrna

Grateful - "perfect" patches

I believe that God never wastes our time no matter how slow we think he is going. If we are waiting, we can assume God is working on the other players in our situation. Always.

- Suzanne

My Day In Astoria

What I Painted On My September Vacation

What I Learned On My September Vacation

What I Bought On My September Vacation

Start With Ugly

Designing And Publishing Versus Knitting And Selling

Painting In My Pajamas

Let Go And Let's See

Videos: The Skirt, The Vest, And The Dress

MUCH Closer To Where I'm Going

Step Away From The Paint

Dear Jessica

Hi Mommy & Daddy

Pizza Is Yummy

The Soul Of A Child

There's Lots Of Play Room On Those Panels

Not Every Fabric Needs To Be A Star

Defluffing, Eating Clean, And Not Enough Time

Just A Fireplace

My Very Own Painted Fabric